How to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

Start Up a Conversation

The first thing to do when you want to talk about sex toys is to choose a relaxed time. It is often that both partners have thought about bringing sex toys into the relationship, but none has been brave enough to breach the topic. So, our suggestion is to choose a time when you are having a lighthearted talk, and you are connected to each other, like after an intimate moment. 

One way to strike up the conversation would be a positive way, like: “I’ve been thinking about trying something new with you; what do you think?” Starting a conversation like this removes any doubt and brings the conversation to an exciting thing that you can share with your partner. We also urge you to be careful and don’t come off as critical, as some people are sensitive about their sexual performance.

Instead, we recommend you frame your questions in the following manner: "Have you ever thought about trying a sex toy?" Or something like this: "I would really like to use a bullet vibe during sex with you". Make sure you emphasize that this is something you will both enjoy and it is not a replacement for your partner.

Share Your Desires

We advise you not to complain but to be frank and share your desires with your partner. You can say something like this: “I’m excited by the possibility of using a c-ring during sex. What about you?” If you are nervous or timid about something related to bringing sex toys into the bedroom, also communicate it clearly and ask open-ended questions that will bring forth a discussion about sexual desires and emotions.

Address Doubts and Misconceptions

Before you open this topic with your partner, make sure you are clear and confident about adding sex toys to your sexy time. Then, reassure your partner that they are not lacking in any way and you are not looking to add sex toys because you are not satisfied. Instead, try to emphasize that you are looking to add sex toys as a way to enhance mutual pleasure.

Compromise May Be Necessary

Don’t be forceful and try to implement this at all costs; be direct, but state that you are willing to compromise. One way to do this is to name a specific toy that you have in mind and ask your partner what they think about using one together. You can develop a discussion about it and make sure you stay open and considerate of your partner’s needs and wants.

Go Sex Toy Shopping Together

After you agree to add a sex toy to your sexy time, the next step would be to shop for a sex toy. We recommend you go online together and look for a sex toy that would be perfect to start with. Please note that you should not rush into things – start small and go slow. Don’t buy multiple toys at once, as you may be tempted to try these and get overwhelmed by the experience and be put off sex toys. You should get one toy to start with and then gradually add more toys to your repertoire. 

We suggest you start with a compact but versatile toy like a bullet vibe or a cock ring that is perfect for easing the way into more. We also recommend you look for couple's toys that are designed to highlight mutual pleasure, as it will help you and your partner relax and get more comfortable. Think remote-controlled vibrators like panty vibes or even remote-controlled prostate toys that allow one partner to have control of the other partner’s pleasure. Also, there are excellent couples's sex toys that are designed to be used during penetrative sex, which makes all the difference.

Another tip we need to share is to never force anything: address any hesitations, and if at any time things don’t feel good, stop, relax, take your time, and make sure you enjoy the experience.

Talk about Your Experience Afterward

After you’ve had your sexy time and you’ve used your chosen sex toy, it is time for another talk; this time, you need to openly discuss what you liked and what you didn’t like. Be open and provide constructive feedback about what felt good and what didn’t feel good. It will help you both, as knowing what feels comfortable and what does not can be a great future reference. It will also strengthen trust in your relationship and boost intimacy.