How To Use a Strap-On with Your Partner

Why Use a Strap-On

While the answer to this question may seem obvious to some, others may not be that familiar with the possibilities a strap-on can bring into the bedroom. However, you should use a strap-on because it is fun!

One example that comes to mind is for lesbian couples, where the strap-on allows you to have penetrative sex with your partner. Many strap-on devices come with a vibrating feature that stimulates the clitoris, others come with extra features like an insertable vibrating egg, like the Gender X Velvet Hammer Thrusting Wearable Vibe, amd many more.

Another example is for heterosexual couples, where the man can add a strap-on to their body to provide a double penetration experience to their partner. The strap-on gives you a chance to take a break and recover during sex, while not leaving your partner hanging.  

There are also specially-designed strap-on sex toys that can be put over a penis, allowing men with erectile dysfunction to have a satisfying sexual experience. Women can use a strap-on to peg their men for a pleasurable reversal of roles or during BDSM playtime.

Strap-On Basics

The strap-on functionalities seem straightforward, but there are some key things to know. There is much versatility between different types of strap-ons; the best one depends on your specific needs. Before we continue our guide on using a strap-on, here are a few strap-on basics you should know when choosing the optimal option for you:

Strap-Ons Vs. Harness-Compatible Dildos

The first thing you must consider is the flexibility of the design of your strap-on. For example, many couples prefer full-on strap-ons because of their practicality. This pertains to a complete strap-on kit that includes a harness and a dildo.But there is also the option to purchase a strap-on harness only and then select a suitable harness-compatible dildo. This approach allows you to mix and match - use different dildos with the same harness.

O-Ring

The O-ring is the essential part of any strap-on harness: it is the ring that connects the dildo and the harness. Here we need to note that the diameter of the O-ring determines the type of dildo that can be placed in your harness.

We recommend you opt for harnesses that allow changing of the O-rings, as it will allow you to change the dildos and try models in different sizes, shapes, and materials, for example like Her Royal Harness The Regal Queen where you can change the o-rings and fit different harness-compatible dildos. Additionally, there are strap-on kits that include a harness with interchangeable O-rings and a palette of dildos with different circumferences and lengths you can use gradually.

Harness Types

The harness style plays a vital role in the comfortable use of this sex toy. Basically, there are three main styles: underwear, thong, and jockstrap harnesses.  

The underwear harness resembles regular underwear and is the most practical option for beginners. This style provides good support around the hips and thighs and allows better control of your movements, like the SpareParts Sasha Harness.

People looking for the visual aspect can opt for a thong harness. These come in many intriguing designs, including lace and G-strings; however, the visual appeal compromises flexibility. These may feel less secure during vigorous movement.

Jockstrap harnesses go around your waist and provide a similar security as thongs harnesses. They resemble sportswear and some come with a fixed dildo and others have interchangeable o-rings which makes them a practical and visually pleasing option that even beginners can quickly get accustomed to.

How To Use Strap-Ons

Before you start using your strap-on, it is best to discuss this with your partner and get in the right mood for trying something new. Always chose a strap-on that you and your partner find comfortable. It's recommended to wear the sex toy for a while before sex to get used to its feel and get a grip on the movements.  

Lube is a must, as the strap-on dildos are usually made from silicone, PVC or TPE, and don’t produce natural lubrication. Ensuring you're using enough lubrication and slowly penetrating will allow your partner and you to get accustomed to the hip movements and make it an enjoyable experience for both.

Condoms are optional; however, they're recommended for simplifying your cleaning process. You can also try lubricated condoms for even less friction during penetration. Numerous types of strap-on devices are on offer that you can choose from, and below we discuss the most popular strap-on options.

Strapless Strap-On

The strapless strap-ons are intended for women. One end features n insertable egg that the woman needs to hold with her vaginal muscles, and the other end features the dildo.

There are a couple of advantages to using a strapless strap-on. For example, it's a one-package deal, and there are no more parts you need to get, which makes it a cost-effective option. It is also very simple to use, as it takes seconds to put on and offers penetration for both partners. IBesides being cost-effective, it takes less time to put on, and offers penetration for both partners. Some models come with internal vibrations that add to the shared pleasure, like the Strap-On-Me Vibrating Bendable Strapless Strap-On.

Beginners may find it hard to control it at first and might need more extended periods before they adjust to using it, which is why strapless strap-ons are not recommended for novices. On the other hand, each vagina is different, and you will have to use your experience with other sex toys to find the right size. Additionally, since you'll need to use your pelvic muscle strength to use the strap-on during sex, you'll need to activate muscles you've never used before.

Regular Strap-On

The regular strap-on is the main version of this sex toy, and these feature a harness and a strap-on-compatible dildo. These have no vibrations and are very easy to use. One can opt for a panty-style harness and a strap-on-compatible dildo and use it to have penetrative sex (for lesbian couples) or use the strap-on to engage in anal play (for heterosexual couples).

Vibrating Strap-On

Vibrating strap-ons are an upgraded version of the regular version that brings extra sensations. Some models feature a vibrating mechanism in the dildo shaft that can be remotely controlled for ease of use. They can be designed specifically for men and women and come in all shapes and sizes. Since the only difference between them and standard strap-ons is the vibrations, there are no other specifics you need to remember when using vibrating strap-ons.

Hollow Strap-On

Hollow strap-ons are designed primarily for men. Most function as a penis sleeve where you can slide your penis and prolong the sex act for your partner even if you don't have the stamina.

The hollow strap-on is excellent for men with erectile dysfunction because it allows them to enjoy a healthy sex life. Additionally, many men opt for vibrating hollow strap-ons since they and their partners can enjoy the extra stimulation.

Squirting Strap-On

The squirting strap-on brings a more realistic feeling to your sex games. The main element of the squirting strap-ons is the option for the dildo to ejaculate cum-like liquids or lube (depending on your choice).

The squirting option can be a pump or a syringe that you must press to engage the squirting action. You can use water-based lubricants or semen-like lubricants to make the whole experience more realistic.

Some consider these a challenge, as they are more demanding to clean, as you must take apart the pump and syringe and clean everything well before storing them.

Pegging Strap-On

Pegging strap-ons are tailored for anal play. Pegging strap-ons are generally smaller compared to regular dildos but come in a variety of shapes and sizes. You can choose between realistic and cone-shaped pegging dildos for maximum pleasure, even opt for ones with vibrating mechanisms.

Those who want to engage in anal training can choose special pegging strap-on kits featuring multiple dildos with gradually increasing sizes. Since the anus is filled with nerve endings, pegging strap-ons are a great way to stimulate the P-spot, causing men to experience powerful prostate orgasms and intense pleasure.

Double Penetration Strap-On

The double-penetration strap-ons feature very creative designs and can be used by men and women. One design is intended for women and trans men, with dual dildos - one facing outwards to penetrate the partner, and the other inwards, to penetrate the wearer.

The other option is a strap-on harness with a prosthetic dildo and a hole to fit your penis. They're designed for men who want to provide their woman with a double penetration without inviting a third to their bedroom. We need to note that there are also double penetration strap-ons that feature two dildos that women can use on each other to replicate this stimulation.

Best Positions To Use Strap-Ons

Depending on the type of strap-on you choose, there are different positions you could try to hit the sweet spot and achieve maximum pleasure. Here are some suggestions:  

• Missionary: The missionary pose is a great option that will allow you more intimacy with your partner while experiencing new things. It's best to place a pillow below your partner's back to ensure their body is in an optimum position to receive your dildo.
• Doggy style: A universally accepted position for beginners to strap-on sex is doggy style. This allows your partner to expose their genitals fully and provides you with more flexibility during penetration.
• Spooning: If you want to achieve fast and intense orgasms, choosing a spooning position is the best option. You can lay on either side and stay pressed to your partner's body, allowing you to go through the penetration motions slowly and deeply.
• Cowgirl/Cowboy: For the adventurers, the cowgirl or cowboy positions can be pretty exciting. These give extra agility to the person being penetrated and allow them to control the depth of the strap-on, leaving you - the wearer - with less power over the motions but a better view.

Important Things To Consider

Knowing what your partner wants is the first step to finding the perfect strap-on dildo. Additionally, your level of mobility with a strap-on also plays a significant role in the overall enjoyment. It's best to choose a smaller size, especially if you're opting for a pegging strap-on, and move on to larger dildos once your partner feels more comfortable. We suggest you choose comfort and practicality over visual appeal. Handling a strap-on while penetrating someone is challenging enough without worrying that your harness will move or fall off.

Material plays a vital role, and you should choose non-porous materials that will be durable for longer and ensure they are body safe for you and your partner. Additionally, extra attention should be paid to the cleaning process, especially if both partners share the toy and use it reversibly.

Beginners should stick to regular strap-ons rather than strapless strap-ons. Choosing a strap-on with a firmly attached dildo will allow you better motion from the start and less worry about dildo compatibility. Going slow and checking in with your partner before and during strap-on sex will ensure a pleasurable experience for both of you and open the doors to even more experimentation in your sex life.

Final Thoughts

One sex toy - thousands of sensations; strap-on sex, and the opportunities for pleasure are more than expected. Between different types of harnesses, dildos, and even more versatility with added features such as vibrating or squirting mechanisms, you can modify your strap-on experience to your liking. The versatility of materials, shapes, and sizes enhances your pleasure.

You can find many strap-on options, and we suggest you take the plunge, expand your sexual horizons and enjoy a mutually-satisfying sexual experience.