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Long, short, hands-on, or hands-off, squirting or not, a dildo is an incredibly versatile and fun sex toy to use and explore. Dildos are sex toys shaped like an erect penis that help trigger or enhance sexual stimulation of their user, either alone, with a partner, or combined with other sex toys.

A common misconception is that dildos are explicitly designed for women or people with vaginas. Dildos are sex toys that can be used by everyone who wants to enjoy them, regardless of their genitals, sexual orientation, gender, or intended use. Many models are designed to give the user a personalized experience to reach that satisfying and leg-shaking orgasm.

You may want to use an entry-level dildo to explore your sexual kinks, try something new with a large or squirting dildo, or get another suction-cup dildo; a dildo is perfect for all of it and more. To help you familiarize yourself with dildos, this guide will go over everything you need to know on how to use a dildo, the best methods, the positions to use it in, and how to get the most out of your dildo session.

Practical tips before you begin

Before you start using the dildo, there are some things you need to do and have by your side: a good dildo and a good mood.

There is a thin line between having a fantastic dildo masturbation session and thinking that dildos are not for you, and that thin line is choosing the right dildo. There are anal dildos, squirting dildos, textured, lifelike, big dildos, dildos with a suction cup, inflatable ones, two-sided, G-spot or P-spot stimulating dildos, and many other ones too. Each of these dildos has a specific purpose, so it’s essential to get the right one that will give you what you expect it to. If you’re unsure what that is, think about what you usually like during sex or masturbating and pick a dildo that looks similar or serves the purpose you want to use it for.

Next, it’s time to set up the ambiance. You would be amazed how much a good ambiance will do to set the mood. Make sure you’re entirely relaxed by lighting up candles, putting on your favorite sensual music, dimming the lights, or rubbing some essential oils on your body. Get into the mood by playing with yourself a bit before to ensure you can insert the dildo effortlessly and have a satisfying session that will result in a fulfilling orgasm.

Why would you use a dildo?

Dildos are very popular sex toys because of their authenticity and versatility. While they are primarily designed with sexual stimulation in mind, there are many reasons one may want to use a dildo. For this reason, there are dildos with different shapes, functions, and uses, so everyone can find one to their taste, regardless of if it’s for solo, couple, or multi-way use. The most common ones are described below.

1. Affirm gender identity

Many people aren’t sure or have doubts about their gender identity or sexuality, or experience gender euphoria but are lackluster about sharing it with their partner or another person. Dildos can be enjoyed by people of any gender or sexual orientation, so doing certain acts with them can help you discover your sexuality and gender identity.

2. Replicate the sensation of a real penis

The dildo’s different features, combined with the hardness of an erection, do an incredible job of replicating the realistic sensation a penis gives. This makes them great for those who want something that looks and feels real but don’t want to deal with the hassle of dating or don’t have the time to meet an actual person.

3. Get back into action

Dildos are here whenever you need them, for whatever you need them. This includes breakups, divorces, or simply when you’ve lost someone and want to prepare to get back into the dating world. You may not have the confidence to start being intimate with another person or need something to remind you of how it was. A dildo can help you ease yourself into the intimacy of a relationship or get comfortable being around a real male penis.

4. Find out what you like

As we mentioned a few times already, dildos are incredibly versatile. Just like people are. And their sexual desires and kinks. This makes them a great tool to experiment with, discover new sensations, and try out new positions, angles, or even rooms. As you explore, you will start figuring out what works and what doesn't for you, which will let you know how to target and stimulate your G-spot or P-spot and, finally, achieve a satisfying, leg-shaking orgasm.

5. Practice

While dildos are great for discovering what you want, they are also great for practicing your skills. If you have a new date coming up and want to hone your skills, test out what you can do, or perfect yourself in a specific role, a dildo is the most convenient toy to precisely do that. You can also experiment with anal sex, oral sex, double penetration, role reversal, pegging, or masturbation. Plus, using a dildo is like having pleasure on demand, quite literally. You can use it whenever you want for as long as you want, with or without breaks.

6. Explore a sexual fantasy

Many people have specific sexual fantasies they want to experience, and not everyone can realize them. If you’re shy to share your kinks, they are too much for your significant other, or were simply curious about what something would feel like; dildos can help you realize your sexual fantasy. Plus, a dildo can be a great way to spice things up with your partner and experience something new in the bedroom.


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How to use a dildo

The way you use a dildo depends on the type you have. However, you can follow some general steps to learn how to prepare to use a dildo, play with it, and maintain it.

Go Slow

You don’t have to start penetrating immediately. You can go slowly and get acquainted with the dildo a bit first. If there are vibrating parts or special use instructions, read them to know how to use the dildo safely and adequately. Feel its surface, its texture, and how it’s shaped, and rub it against your body and intimate parts to get familiar with the sensation and turn yourself on. If this is your first time using a dildo, or you’re still feeling uncomfortable using it, place a towel beneath you to ease the insertion process and ensure you don’t stain the sheets.

Use plenty of Lube

Regardless of how you want to use it, you will need plenty of lubricant for any sexual penetration, especially with dildos. Good lube will make penetration easier and your whole experience more pleasant, so it’s key to have the right one on hand. There are several types of lubricants you can find on the market:

  • Water-based: Water-based lubricants feel most natural to the skin and are safe for the body. They are also affordable and won’t stain sheets but tend to be less slippery than silicone lubricants and dry out faster, so you would have to re-apply it more often.
  • Silicone: Silicone lubricants are thicker and more slippery than water-based lubes, so it will be easier to glide in the dildo. They don’t wash out, making them great to play with in the shower. However, they shouldn’t be used with silicone toys, as they may damage the toy’s surface.
  • Oil-based: Oil-based lubricants are also a good and inexpensive option you can easily find in stores, but they can irritate your skin and stain your sheets, which is why many users avoid using them.
  • All-natural lubricants: These lubricants solve the medical issues with other types of lubricants but come at quite a higher cost and can still stain fabrics. They are also harder to find and somewhat unreliable, as their all-natural mixture can be complicated to verify, so we don’t see them used as often. The most common natural lubricants are coconut, avocado, olive oil, and vegetable lubricants.

Once you’ve picked your lube, generously apply it to the whole length of the dildo, starting from the tip and going toward the shaft and bottom. Apply some to your fingers and vagina or anus, whichever hole you penetrate. Make sure to lubricate your inner and outer labia or the anal opening around it, depending on how you want to use the dildo.

Penetrate

When you feel ready to start using the dildo, it’s time for the magic to happen. Hold the dildo from the base or its handle or grip (whatever it has), place it near the entrance of whichever hole you intend to penetrate, and breathe slowly as you begin to insert the tip of the dildo. Move it back and forth or leave it inside, see what works best for you and get used to the dildo’s length, girth, and width. Once you’ve inserted it, move it in and out of your hole, reacting and adapting the speed and depth as you go. You may also stimulate other erogenous zones to get more aroused. Make sure to have plenty of lube if you need to reapply it.

Experiment

After you become comfortable with the dildo, you can start experimenting with the speed, pose, and rhythm. Try out different depths and angles of penetration to find out what feels best and makes you orgasm most intensely. Combine the dildo with sex toys like vibrators or strap-ons to take things to the next level and make everything even more exciting.

Clean and store

Once you’re done using the dildo, it’s paramount that you carefully clean the toy. You can do this with mild soapy water, a sex toy cleaner, or by following the cleaning instructions provided by the manufacturer. Once you’ve cleaned the dildo, dry it and store it in a dry and dark area where the dildo will await its subsequent use.

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Best dildo masturbation techniques

The method and technique you apply don’t have to fit most people's regular agenda. Using a dildo is about exploring and discovering what you like, so testing different techniques can help you discover more about yourself. With that in mind, below are some of the most common dildo masturbation techniques you can try out on your next dildo session.

Shallow and rapid strokes

The first ⅓ of the vagina contains most of your sensitive nerve endings, so contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to go deep and hard to get the most out of your dildo session. Short and rapid strokes often ensure you get the proper nerve stimulation without barraging your cervix. Even if the dildo is longer, this doesn’t mean you have to insert or use its whole length. You can use the dildo’s shaft to get a better grip on it and manipulate the movements easier. This will ensure you get what you want and need without straining your wrists.

Deep thrusting

For those that want something bigger and more intense, deep thrusts are the way to go. As its name suggests, this technique involves inserting the dildo deep with thrusting motions, which would be easiest to do with your hand while lying on your back. There are also suction cup dildos you can stick to a smooth surface and use for deep thrusting. Thrusting dildos are specifically designed to provide this type of stimulation. They are motorized and have a shaft that extends and retracts to mimic the thrusting sensation.

Rock it out

Dildos aren’t just meant for straight thrusts or shallow and rapid strokes. You can modify the motion and rock it back and forth at an angle so that the tip of the dildo applies pressure to the bottom of your vagina. Lay on your back and push in the dildo while rocking it back and forth and feel where it feels good when you apply pressure. This technique works best with curved dildos and more flexible ones that allow a more comprehensive motion range. You can take it up a notch and press it against your clitoris to get that double stimulation.

Milk the g-spot

To milk the G spot, you need to drag the top part of the dildo across it as you pull outwards. This is quickly done with dildos with a bulbous head, or a curved shape designed to enable the user to reach this sensitive area. Dildos with more texture or those made from rigid materials like glass, wood, and metal can also do a great job stimulating the G-spot and helping you get a satisfying orgasm.

Twisting motion

As you’re holding the base, twist the shaft into a circular motion. This allows the tip to reach the G-spot or P-spot and massage it for extra stimulation. The twisting motion works best with straight dildos, but some dildos are specifically designed for this type of stimulation, also known as “juicers.”

Filling feeling

This is a relatively simple dildo masturbation technique. You can find a comfortable position and insert the dildo without taking it out. Keep the dildo inside you so you feel full while you masturbate or play with yourself in another way. The toy can enhance your orgasms even if you keep it in the same place.

Anal

The world of male dildos is like the universe - infinite. Or almost, at least. Many models are specifically designed for anal use, from small, entry-level training dildos to monster dildos intended to give the user a stretching sensation. This also includes pegging dildos specifically made to be used by a woman on her male partner.

Double penetration

Dildos are also great to use to satisfy both holes: the vagina and the anus. There are several ways in which you can use dildos for double penetration:

  • Two dildos, one inserted vaginally, one anally
  • A dildo inserted in the vagina and a butt plug anally
  • Dildo inserted vaginally or anally, and your fingers
  • Dildo and a partner (male partner or strap-on)

Temperature play

Dildos are also great to use to satisfy both holes: the vagina and the anus. There are several ways in which you can use dildos for double pe

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Hitting the Right Spots

While there is not a “one size fits all” method of orgasming with a dildo, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of climaxing. Here are a few tips and tricks to help you experience an intense, satisfying orgasm while enjoying your dildo toy.

  • Find a rhythm - You don’t have to go with something generic or apply the same technique from start to finish. Start slowly and build up the momentum as you get more aroused, increasing the thrusting motion and speed.
  • Mix and match - Combine your dildo with a clit stimulator, wand vibrator, or a vibrating bullet to bring your experience to another level. Simultaneous stimulation can be incredibly enjoyable, especially if you do it with a partner.
  • Pressure - Once you locate the G-spot, apply deep pressure to stimulate the sensitive nerve endings. This will ensure it gets the stimulation and help you reach an orgasm. Curved dildos do the best job of stimulating the G-spot.
  • Rub your Clitoris - Most women enjoy or need clitoral stimulation in addition to vaginal penetration to climax. While you use the dildo, use your fingers or a finger vibe to play with your clitoris, apply pressure to it with a toy, or ask your partner to play with it to achieve an orgasm.
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Best positions for using a dildo

There is no universal position that works best for everyone using a dildo. That depends entirely on your and your partner’s wishes and tastes. Some techniques work better in specific positions, so the method you want to apply may also impact the position you can be in. While there may be some limitations to what you can do based on your body type, several positions are popular among users. You can try them out for yourself and see how each feel.

  • Lay down on your back - The most straightforward method of masturbating is usually the most effective. Lay down on your back and control the motions of the dildo by hand. You can also pull your knees to your chest to get a better penetrating angle.
  • Lay face down - As an alternative, you can lay on your stomach or on all fours. Reach out over your back or under the belly to grasp the dildo and push it inside and out. You can place a pillow to lift your butt and get a better angle to aid penetration.
  • Sideways - If you want a more filling sensation, laying on your side will make the toy feel bigger. It’s also easier and allows you to vary the sensation by keeping your legs straight or bending your knees.
  • Sitting - Like the sideways position, you can also literally sit on the dildo and masturbate with it inside you. You can also go up and down and ride the dildo. When sitting on the dildo, ensure it has a flared base to prevent any unwanted slippage.
  • Riding - Suction cup dildos are ideal for sticking on a smooth surface like a shower wall, desk, or coffee table and riding them hands-free. This position allows you to have your hands for yourself and stimulate your other erogenous zones.
  • Stand up - You can also use the dildo while standing up. Reach behind your back, bend and reach from the front, or lift your leg to move the dildo inside and out.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, there is no wrong way to use a dildo. How you use, and the type of dildo you use depends entirely on your needs and preferences. These adult toys are not designed to be used alone. You can play, explore, and experiment with it, even if it’s not designed for what you intend to use it for. You may enjoy using a G-spot dildo anally or use a pegging dildo vaginally, so why not do it?

One final piece of advice I can share with you is to relax and have an open mind about it. If something feels good to everyone else but not you, you’re not the odd one out. That’s completely normal. You need to find what feels good to you and experiment with it, even if it’s something no one tried. Dildos are meant to be enjoyed, and that is precisely what you need to do with them.