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Anal Masturbation Tips and Techniques for Men and Women

Anal Masturbation Tips and Techniques for Men and Women

Editorial Team |

Most of us know how to masturbate the old-fashioned way. Some of us have even taken our sexuality a step further and experimented with anal play with a partner. The act of merging the two together…let’s just say, giving yourself a booty orgasm might just be the life-changing kink you’ve been looking for.

Anal Masturbation 101: How to Get Started

If you’re new to anal masturbation, don’t worry about it – we’re going to walk you through it from beginning to end, offering tons of great tips and techniques throughout.

If you’re completely new to anal play, the perfect place to start is the shower. Start by cleaning your booty, then bending over and allowing the water from the shower to stimulate your anus. Breathe deeply and connect with your anus – this helps you to get more comfortable with the feeling of light pressure in that area.

Next up would be some good old-fashioned regular masturbation. Set yourself up in a calm and Zen environment and pleasure yourself how you typically would. Giving yourself a regular orgasm before tackling the back door is a good way to get relaxed and in the mood. Once you’re feeling prepped, tap into some anal foreplay before attempting any penetration. Start by stoking, massaging and even lightly spanking your butt cheeks, and then slowly move closer to the anal opening, where most of the nerve endings are.

While you’re engaging in some solo foreplay, don’t be afraid to move around and try different positions. If you’re a beginner, it might take some time to adjust and maneuver your arm comfortably to back door territory. Experiment with different positions, add some pillows under your pelvis if needed, or even stand. Find what works for you!

Another important factor that often gets overlooked is practicing conscious breathing and relaxation. Any tensing may cause pain or discomfort instead of pleasure, which is why being in the right environment and headspace is crucial.

Before you attempt any sort of penetration the most important tool you’ll need is lubricant. Since the anus does not self-lubricate, you’re going to have to rely on other methods to keep it as wet as possible always. A body-safe and phthalate-free water-based lube is recommended because of the easy clean-up and nourishing effect, as well as it being compatible with silicone toys and condoms, if you decide to use any. However, keep in mind that water-based lubricants can dry quickly, so be sure to keep reapplying as needed.

Silicone lubricants are great for sensitive skin, but can’t be used with other silicone products, so if this is what you want to use, stick to fingers only! Oil-based lubes are very long-lasting, so they’re a great option for those who don’t want to have to worry about reapplying a ton of lube. But it’s important to note that oil-based lubes are prone to breaking condoms, so keep that in mind if you’re adding that layer of protection to minimize the spread of bacteria.

The easiest way to begin penetration is to start with your own fingers. Apply plenty of lube on your opening and fingers, and rub one finger on the rim of your butthole. As you get more aroused, keep applying more pressure and depth to your penetration. Just make sure your fingernails are cut short to avoid any cuts or injury!

Why Try Solo First

Anal masturbation isn’t just about getting off – it’s about connecting with an erogenous zone that may have been culturally stigmatized as taboo. Some are uncomfortable with the idea of anal because it has been conditioned in them from a young age that it is dirty, immoral, or just plain wicked. If you feel you might need to work through a battle against these beliefs yet still want to experiment with anal, then trying it alone first will be better. Sex shouldn’t feel shameful, and facing it alone can help you calm your nerves and ensure that you enjoy the act, before sharing the experience with someone else.

Another reason for wanting to try solo first is to know how to please yourself first! There’s nothing hotter in the bedroom than someone who knows what they like, and can communicate that to their partner. At the end of the day, no one knows your body like you do. You can test your limits and find out what you like, don’t like, and how far you’re willing to go!

anal masturbation solo

Male Anal Masturbation

As we get into male anal masturbation, the golden spot that may come to mind for many is the P-spot, also called the prostate. You can stimulate the P-spot through the perineum, which is the patch of skin between the balls and the anus, or by penetrating about 2 inches into the anus. If you hit the P-spot, you’re going to feel intense, body-shuddering waves of pleasure.

There’s no rule on needing to only focus on the anus – double your hot masturbation session with a simultaneous hand job! Grasp your penis and stroke it up and down along the shaft, picking up the pace as you approach climax.

male anal masturbation

Female Anal Masturbation

For women, a killer orgasm can come from stimulating the A-spot, also known as the anterior fornix. Located about 5 or 6 inches into the vagina, you can indirectly penetrate it through anal sex. The A-spot is an area filled with erotically charged nerve endings which can quickly make you extremely wet and aroused. The feeling of A-spot stimulation is pleasurable enough, but an A-spot orgasm is mind-blowing. They’re way more intense and last longer than regular orgasms.

The wonderful part about being a female is that you can have as many orgasms as you want, and you have plenty of erogenous zones to play with. Whether you’re giving or receiving –or both! – you can use your hand, fingers or a toy to rub along the clit and hood for added pleasure.

The woman’s body has plenty of erogenous zones, so as your stimulating your anus with one hand, feel free to use the other hand with or without toys to explore the rest of your body. Pause on sensitive areas like your neck, breasts, scrotum, or even back of the knees and inner arms.

Broaden your horizon by adding in some DP action – penetrate your vagina while having some anal fun. Whether your partner wants to use his penis or you choose to use a toy, it’s sure to double the pleasure. See if you can hit the G-spot while you’re at it!

female anal masturbation

Anal Masturbation with a Partner

There isn’t a long list of activities more erotic than mutual masturbation with a partner. If you’re a beginner, you should still follow the tips mentioned above on how to get started with anal masturbation. If you’re already comfortable with anal play, just remember to start off relaxed and aroused.

If you’re the receiving partner, indulge in some erotic foreplay beforehand. Take a hot bath, light some scented candles, or watch some porn – anything that will get you relaxed and ready. If you’re more experienced, you can have a butt plug inserted long before your sensual play session for an even bigger build-up of arousal. Lastly, make sure you’ve got plenty of lube on hand!

If you’re the giving partner, help get your partner in the mood by giving them the best foreplay session of their lives. Touch, lick and kiss the areas in and around their anus. After foreplay, if you’ve applied enough lube, you’re good to use your hands or beloved toys and get penetrating!


Despite there being multiple ways to masturbate anally, there are also tons of different positions to try! The best way to find out which position is best for you is by trial and error. Experiment slowly with yourself or with a partner until eventually finding the one which you feel most comfortable with. 


To do this one by yourself, start by lying face down on your stomach, and reach your arm behind you, resting it on your back. Reach your finger or toy towards your perineum or anus, and tease and insert at your ease.

To do this with a partner, lie face down with your arms at your sides, and your legs slightly spread apart. Meanwhile, your partner can sit on whichever side is most comfortable for them, while gently massaging your anus.

On your side

To try out this position, lie on your side and bring your outer leg up towards your chest, and reach around to explore and stimulate your anus. You can also do this position with a partner, by having them sit behind you and reaching over to your anus.

on your side anal position


Get on all fours, and reach your arm between your legs or around your back to reach your anal opening. Massage and penetrate it at your pace. If you’re doing this with a partner, all they need to do is kneel behind you to reach your anus.


Cow is a fun and different one to try out, but is better suited for more experienced players. To do it alone, start by stabilizing your dildo, vibrator or other toy of choice on the seat of a chair, or any stable surface. Next, straddle your chair or gently kneel, hovering your butt just above the toy. Lower down slowly, gradually inserting the toy until you reach a depth that feels the best for you.

To do this with a partner, lie on your back and have them straddle you, preferably while wearing a strap-on if they aren’t penetrating you with their penis. Have them put their knees on either side of your hips, and your hands on the bed or floor, and lower their butt, using their hips to slide inside you slowly, controlling the depth.


This position can only be used with a partner, but the best part is that it gives both partners the opportunity for anal stimulation at the same time! One partner will lie flat on their back and the other partner will kneel over their partner while facing the opposite direction. To practice anal stimulation in this position, you just have to reach your arms over and spread your partner’s butt cheeks, and then reach their anus.


One of the best parts of anal play is playing with different techniques and discovering your new favorites! Whether you use one of these or a combination, you’re in for a wild ride.

If you’re practicing with a partner, tongue play can be an excellent stimulator of the nerve endings in and around the anus. You most likely won’t be able to stimulate the P-spot or A-spot directly, but it’ll still create an extremely erotic sensation. If you’re the giving partner, use the tip of your tongue to tease along the cheeks before slowly working your way between them. Swirl your tongue around the anal opening first, then push the tip into the opening, darting in and out, mirroring a thrust.

Finger stimulation can work whether you’re with a partner or alone. The fun with using your fingers for anal stimulation is the variety in movements and motions. Here are some of our favorites.

Come hither: This is a classic move for a reason. When you slowly insert your lubed finger into the anus and curl your finger upward, you’re almost guaranteeing your partner a whirlwind of pleasure. As you go, gradually increase the depth and speed, and add some fingers if your partner is feeling comfortable and stretched. Once you’ve found the right pace and motion, just keep going as the pressure builds.

Circling: When you feel that you’ve reached either the A-spot or P-spot, rub your finger in a circular motion, picking up the pace as your partner requests it. Play around with pressure and speed to find the perfect combination.

Doorbell: From either the inside or the outside, find the tender sweet spot that makes them moan with pleasure and press your finger against it, as if ringing a doorbell. Start this act by applying light pressure, then gradually increase pressure and speed.

Stimulated vibration: When you or your partner are close, you can stimulate vibrations by moving your speed up.

Finally, you can use a sex toy, or if you’re playing with a partner, then a penis or strap-on. No matter which you choose, you can play around with pressure – applying or removing pressure will help you find your sweet spot. You can also play around with depth. Everyone’s pleasure points are different, so take it slow and gentle. Vibrations are also great when you’re close and want to push yourself over the edge! There are plenty of vibrating massagers with different vibration and pulse settings, so try out different combinations and see what does the trick.

Of course, we’ve saved the best for last. Double penetration is absolutely on the table! While you can surely do this with a partner and a toy at the same time, there are also toys that have dual function, allowing you double penetration. Whether you have an external vibe that stimulates the perineum or clitoris during penetration, or a dual penetrating dildo or vibrator to penetrate the anus and vagina –if you have one– at the same time, you’re in for the climax of a lifetime!


There are a few precautions that you should be taking with regards to cleanliness. Firstly, whether you’re the giving partner or engaging in solo masturbation, you should make sure to have your fingernails properly groomed – trim and file your nails to prevent tearing the delicate skin of the anus, and to prevent the bacteria under your nails from entering your partner’s anus. You should always make sure to wash your hands thoroughly before any activity. If you want to take it a step further, you can put on a pair of latex or nitrile gloves to prevent any fluid transmission.

During play, be very careful not to move your hands or toys from the anus to the vagina, or anywhere around it – this could cause some serious infections. The clean-up afterwards is equally important. Even if you don’t see it, fecal matter and bacteria from the anus can spread after touching the inside or outside of your anus. If you used gloves, throw them away immediately, and wash your hands and genital areas thoroughly.

Additionally, use a wet cloth on any parts of your body that you touched before and after your anal play to cleanse the area.

Remember to also wash off the toys and disinfect them properly, as well as the lube bottle that you used. You want to avoid ruining your memorable play session by minimizing the potential spread of any bacteria. Make sure to store them in a cool, dry area afterwards to prevent mold or bacteria growth.

anal hygiene

Best Sex Toys for Anal Masturbation

While you may feel ‘caught up in the moment’ while in the shower and inclined to use basic household items for your anal masturbation session, this is extremely advised against. It’s important to only use toys that are sold for the purpose of anal insertion when attempting this form of masturbation.

So, if you’re looking for a way to kick your anal masturbation session up a notch after getting comfortable with your fingers, toys are a great way to do that! Before getting started, it’s advised to figure out how much your anus can currently handle by measuring the width of the number of fingers that you can currently insert comfortably, or the width of the latest toy you’ve used anally. This will help you choose the right toy and size for you.

Without further ado, let’s go through some fun and sexy toys that are great for anal masturbation, whether you’re doing it solo or with a partner.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are a real treat, regardless of whether you have a P-spot or an A-spot. Generally, anal beads are a string of beads that are evenly spaced apart. You can insert the beads one by one –as many as you can handle– and then pull the string of them out for a mind-blowing, pleasurable experience.

Usually the beads will be sphere-shaped, but there are tons of variation on the market, such as oval beads, star-shaped beads, and even heart-shaped beads. The beads will also sometimes come in differing sizes, for example increasing in size from one end to the other. This ends up working wonderfully as an anal training tool, or as a starter to masturbation, in preparation for bigger toys.

While these are fun to use with a partner since they can surprise you with pacing, they feel equally good alone. But the pleasure doesn’t only come from inserting and removing the beads – once the beads are inside you, you can use your anal muscles to clench and unclench them, offering you some intense inner stimulation.

B-Vibe Triplet Remote Control Anal Bead

Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are great for beginners to anal play, as well as gentle players. Butt plugs are used by simply sliding them into the anus, and leaving them to ‘plug’ your butt, for as short or long as you like. The purpose is to stimulate the many nerve endings located in and around the anal opening. They’re equally perfect for using alone, or with a partner. The kicker is that these toys can usually be worn for long periods of time, and they shift slightly as you move around, stimulating different areas of your butt. You can throw one on during your work commute or as you’re watching a movie for some amazing stimulation…and no one has to know.

Butt plugs come in many shapes and sizes, so do your research on the best butt plugs and find one that suits your desires and capabilities. The typical style is a tapered, cone-shaped head with a flared base, to ensure there’s no accidental too-deep slippage into the anus.

There are some that come in sets of 3 or more different sizes, so that you can work your way up, or you can even buy one that expands, as your anus gets more accustomed to penetration.

Silicone butt plugs are the most popular, especially among beginners, because of their soft and smooth coating, which makes them easier to insert. However, as you get more comfortable with them, you can try out plenty that come with a fun twist, such as:

  • Jewel butt plugs, which is a stylish addition for peep show fun
  • Glass butt plugs, which are smoother but harder than silicone, and good for temperature play
  • Tail butt plugs, which is a regular butt plug with a tail attached to it, making it perfect for fans of BDSM or role play

Anal Vibrators

Anal vibrators are vibrating toys that are designed to be inserted into the male or female anus. Some have the option to vibrate at different speeds, some offer different patterns which can deliver various sensations to your anus. The best part is, they also come in different shapes and sizes, so you can see which toy you like the most from your regular collection or those we’ve mentioned above, and buy the vibrating edition!

If you’re engaging in this activity with a partner, you can even get a two-ended vibrator, which will please you and your partner at the same time.

Blush Luxe Slim Vibrating Butt Plug

Prostate Massagers

Specially designed for male genitalia, prostate massagers are the ultimate male anal masturbation tool. This gadget allows you to reach that small gland, located about two inches inside your anus that can lead to some incredible orgasms when stimulated.

A prostate massager is usually shaped with a handle on one end, and an angled dildoesque piece on the other, which is the side that gets inserted into the anus. When inserted, as you move it, it provides a ‘come hither’ motion that’ll make you orgasm in mere minutes.

There are also many prostate massagers that come with cock rings attached to them, for double the fun. Can it get any better than this?


We can’t discuss sex toys without talking about dildos, can we? The first thing to note is that dildos are more for advanced players, as they’re usually larger than most of the other toys, like butt plugs. While you can surely use a regular dildo for penetration, there are tons of specially designed anal dildos to choose from.

These anal dildos are better designed for anal penetration, and generally come with a flared base or hand grip to prevent too-deep slippage. They can be angled for prostate stimulation in males, or lifelike penis molding to please the masses. Beginner anal dildos will generally be slimmer and have less girth, but there are plenty of bigger options as you work your way into becoming a more experienced player.

Just keep in mind that an anus isn’t like a vagina – it requires plenty of time and practice before it can take on larger toys safely, with no tearing. If you’re a beginner to anal dildos, try and find one that is tapered, as it’ll help you to only insert it to a point in which you can comfortably handle.

There is a large array of different anal sex toys to choose from, and the options are increasing day by day. So, if you find yourself enjoying this new twist on classic masturbating, stay informed on new toys coming out specifically for anal play.

Real Nude Ergo Mini Dildo

Final Words

The best part of anal masturbation is that it isn’t simply about the destination, but the journey. Even if you don’t get an anal orgasm right away, it’s very likely you’ll have some type of orgasm along the way. Make sure you’re relaxed, aroused, and enjoy all the pleasures the butt has to offer!

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