How to Use Bondage Restraints

What Are Bondage Restraints?

First, let’s talk a little about BDMS in general: this is a general term that represents Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism. This term covers a wide range of fantasies and practices, allowing people who enjoy kinky sex to identify with one or many of those interests.

Bondage & Discipline is more popular, even outside of the BDSM community, since many couples explore this sexy play with various aids, for example a blindfold for sensory deprivation. Bondage gear, in particular, includes a range of sex toys, tools, and techniques designed to control the partner's physical movement, senses, and general control in the bedroom. They are used between consensual partners and can be made of multiple materials, such as leather, metal, or rope, and are used on various body parts.

Cuffs and waist belts are considered more traditional bondage restraints, traditionally made from leather or metal, which are easier to use and incorporate into any sex play. Rope bondage restraints are a bit more advanced and require some extra knowledge regarding tying the knots, but the visual appeal is worth it. More advanced bondage restraints like spreader bars or chastity belts are used to deprive the person of some senses and movements, and they tend to be more expensive but more durable.

Playing with bondage restraints can be done before or during sex, and it can be done for hours on end, depending on your chosen scenario. Of course, some bondage restraints require more safety precautions than others; however, as long as they're used responsibly, both partners can enjoy the power dynamics and the thrill of giving over control or taking command.

Consent: The Prerequisite for Kinky Sex

While many are still on the fence about bondage restraints and kinky sex in general, it should be understood that the BDSM community involves and promotes consensual sex only. Exploring the power dynamics in a relationship is done solely on mutual consent and willingness to assume different roles while respecting each other's boundaries. It means that before indulging in any bondage scenes with your patner, you should discuss your fantasies, desires, and what you expect to gain from the experience.

Understanding the other person's likes and dislikes will allow you to get a better picture of how they want to be treated and how far you can push them if you assume the role of a dominant partner. If, in turn, you want your partner to use the bondage restraints on you, make sure to clearly vocalize what you're open to and what are some hard limit things that you have no intention of doing, no matter how heated things get. This type of honesty will allow both of you to confidently step into your preferred role and enjoy the power exchange while also deepening your trust and intimacy.

Different Types of Bondage Restraints

Bondage restraints are a vast category of sex toys that encompass everything from gag-gifted furry handcuffs to full dungeon gear. Below we'll go over the most common types of bondage restraints you should consider adding to your bedroom:

Bondage Cuffs

Wrist, ankle, thigh - these are all types of cuffs you can easily incorporate into your sex play to partially or totally restrain your partner. The standard leather cuffs with fur on the inside and a buckle for tightening are the best choices; however, there are a lot of options to choose from.

Ankle cuffs are usually bigger than wrist cuffs and are portable and travel friendly. Thigh cuffs are less effective in restraining movement on their own, but if you want to make them more effective, you can choose thigh-to-wrist cuffs. There are also cuffs made from silicone and plastic, which are much easier to break and offer more flexibility, and of course, the classic metal cop cuffs fall into this category.

Collars

Whether as a form of punishment or humiliation, collars are effective bondage restraints that can limit the movement of your partner. You can tie them up and make them wait for you, or you can walk them around as your pet and limit their movement to a specific parameter. For the bedroom in particular, collars with attached cuffs for wrists are the most practical option. Namely, you can put the collar on your partner and bind the wrists in the front or back to totally incapacitate their upper extremities.

Bondage Kits

Bondage kits often include a variety of bondage restraints you can experiemnt with and keep your partner's hands together without movement. For more experienced practitioners of kinky pleasures, there are also straight jackets- a full jacket for the upper part of the body that restricts any hand movements. Sleepsacks are the complete form of bondage restraints, representing a full body wrapping that totally immobilizes the submissive partner.

Spreader Bars

You only need a spreader bar to spread your partner's legs or arms! These are usually made from metal and feature cuffs on each end for their wrists or ankles. They are very effective in terms of keeping your partner's extremities in a certain position while also allowing some form of movement. Depending on the manufacturer, there are also spreader bars with adjustable length or spreader bars that will enable you to attach both the hands and feet of your partner for a more compromising position.

Bondage Rope

Bondage restraints with rope, also known as the Japanese technique Shibari, is an art form just as much as it is sex play. Although the BDSM community has made the use of rope in the bedroom look hard and intimidating, the truth is you can teach yourself to tie basic knots in only 20 minutes. Regular ropes such as hemp and cotton are a great choice; you can also use synthetic ropes; however, they might not feel as good on the skin. You can purchase bondage rope from many places and even purchase Pre-made rope toys. Remember to always buy safety sheers, as they are vital for cutting rope that's been pulled too hard.

Why Use Bondage Restraints?

Contrary to what some people believe, when done right, bondage restraints can bring a lot more relaxation than any other sex toy or play. There are several reasons why you should try bondage restraints, and we'll present some of them below.

• Deepen the intimacy in your relationship: While it sounds counterintuitive to give up something in order to feel more intimate with a partner, this is true. Many couples who have engaged in sex with bondage restraints state that they have strengthened their connection simply by allowing their partner to control them for a while. Giving up some form of freedom and giving someone control over your body requires a lot of trust in the first place, and if both partners respect the set boundaries, you will come out of the experience satisfied both physically and emotionally.
• Change the power dynamics: This one is obvious and is the usual reason why many couples decide to give bondage restraints a try. Sex toys deprive one partner of their senses or movements and leave the other partner in total control of their body, mind, and overall experience in the bedroom. Depending on the restraints you use, you can control how much or little your partner touches you, sees you, or even when they get to have an orgasm.
• Roleplaying: Even if you don't want to indulge in a full-time D/s relationship, you can still have fun roleplaying. Many couples purchase bondage restraints and different gear to get a taste of that world and frequently switch roles among themselves. It allows you to explore other kinks in a safe environment with someone you trust and learn new things about your sexual drive. Not to mention, the anticipation of getting something you're restricted from is a massive turn-on for many people and can enhance sexual enjoyment for both partners.
• Giving up control will relax you: We said it - sometimes life gets too hard, and trying to control everything can suck out your life force. Putting on a few bondage restraints for a night and allowing your partner to assume total control over your body and pleasure can be immensely liberating, both for your sexual drive and your mind. You can allow your partner to take care of you while following commands and not worrying about what comes next.
• Sensation & Sensory Deprivation: For some, the smell of leather or the touch of metal around their wrists is enough to drive them wild. Sensations are a big part of the bondage restraints experience, and the more you play into them, the more exciting the sex will be. However, sometimes less is more. Namely, many people are more excited by the restriction and sensory deprivation rather than the toys can have extreme effects on the submissive partner; for example, taking away their visual sense will leave them curious about what will happen next and allow them to delve deeper into their imagination about your movements.
• Go Primal: For more experienced practitioners who enjoy bringing their animalistic side to the surface, there are bondage restraints that will transform them into an animal. From simple collars and muzzles to full dog gear, the market is filled with bondage restraints that support these fantasies. They are also often used during some type of training or punishment; however, sometimes, even their visual appeal is enough to spice up your sex life.

How to Use Bondage Restraints?

Playing with bondage restraints can be very fun and pleasurable for all parties involved, as long as it is done based on mutual consent and respect for each other's boundaries. Here is how you can easily incorporate these sex toys into your bedroom and create an unforgettable experience for both you and your partner.

Foreplay

While foreplay is usually the most important part of sex, with bondage restraints, it can come in several forms. Some partners consider foreplay to be a process of showing affection before they get to the sex toys. For others, the sheer process of getting tied up and into their restrictive gear is enough to turn them on. There's literally no right way to get into the mood for bondage restraints; however, you should prep the environment before getting serious. You'll want your toys to be clean and set up in a space where you and your partner feel comfortable.

Use the Restraints

Next comes tying up. Depending on the bondage restraints you're using, you'll need time to put them on and ensure they're safely assembled. In terms of cuffs, it's best to leave a little wiggle room so as not to hurt your partner's wrists or ankles. With rope, the dangers are even bigger since a tight fit can easily restrict the blood flow through the body and possibly cause injuries.

Mix & Match Restraints & Other Toys

For oral sex, you can use the collar to wrist cuffs, make your partner kneel, and make them eat you out or give you a blow job. If you opt for a hogtie, you can use additional dungeon gear, such as wall hangers, to lift them up and fuck them from every side possible. Overall, bondage restraints are easily combined with all other sex toys - all you need is a little imagination, and you can give both yourself and your partner immense pleasure.

Safety Tips

As with all other sex toys, using bondage restraints requires a certain level of preparedness and taking safety precautions to ensure everyone has a good time. Below we've disclosed a few safety tips for beginners and experienced couples; while some seem more obvious than others, they're all equally important and should be practiced before each sex play.

Discuss Boundaries & Health Issues Beforehand

Personal boundaries are specific to each person and depend on what they like in the bedroom and what they feel comfortable doing. Knowing each other's dos and don'ts will help you better understand how the sex play should go and how to properly pleasure your partner.

Similar to giving consent and discussing boundaries, disclosing your health issues is integral to every successful BDSM experience. Your partner should be aware of all your physical and psychological limits to be prepared to act in any type of situation. For example, if you suffer from anxiety, using a blindfold or other sensory deprivation tools is not recommended. On the other hand, if you have asthma or are claustrophobic, there are certain bondage restraints and positions that you should avoid in order to prevent an unnecessary attack.

Establish a Safeword

This practice can be associated with literally any sex act and is very effective. Establishing a safe word beforehand will save you a lot of guessing whether your partner is feeling good or not. The safe word can be literally anything, and if one partner says it, the play should immediately stop. In case you're using a ball gag that would restrain you from speaking, you can use gestures or use a squeaky toy as a safeword. Some people also use blinking for this purpose; however, this is more risky and will entail that one partner should constantly watch out for it.

Practice SSSC

The acronym stands for safe, sane, sober, and consensual - it is a checklist for the BDSM community, and if you decide to use bondage restraints in your bedroom, it should become standard practice. You should refrain from engaging unless you're ready to participate enthusiastically and feel like you would enjoy bondage play.

Aftercare

Aftercare is an integral part of every BDSM experience and can greatly contribute to the overall enjoyment of any activity. Aftercare takes place immediately after you're done with your sex play and can extend into days or even months of checking in with your partner and seeing how they feel about the experience.

The aftercare process can include word affirmations, hugs and cuddles, presents, and anything that would make both partners feel the safety and intimacy of their relationship. It's important to know that both partners need aftercare, as many times, the Dom may fight with guilt or feelings of uncertainty about the ways they could have possibly harmed the sub during the sex play.

Go Slow Into Bondage Play

The last but not least safety tip is to take your time with bondage restraints and ease up to more restrictive sex toys. A simple blindfold and a pair of cuffs are more than enough to enrich your sex life, initiate the conversation about kinky bondage restraints and ensure you have a magnificent experience.

Final Thoughts

Bondage restraints are more than just sex toys; they're an expression of love and trust among partners who decide to incorporate them into their sex life. Using bondage restraints is fairly easy, and many choices are available; however, it is important to stay safe and discuss the experience you want to have beforehand.