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How to Properly Stretch Your Anus for Anal Play

How to Properly Stretch Your Anus for Anal Play

Editorial Team |

While the butt is considered a highly desirable feature of both men and women, anal play is still discussed only behind closed doors and pulled curtains. And why would we focus so much on the butt if we can't play with it?

While most people may not be willing to say it openly, many have tried experimenting with anal play and liked doing it. Whatever your gender or sexual orientation, anal play can be a pleasurable experience that opens a whole new hole (pun intended) for you.

Anal play isn't a single act; it can involve numerous toys and different sensations. However, before you get on with it, there are certain things you need to know about stretching your anus in a safe and ultimately pleasurable way.

Anal stretching vs. anal gaping

Before engaging in anal play, stretching your anus is recommended. Anal stretching will help you open the anal gape, which is the look of the anus after perpetual extension. But how do you get there?

For your anal stretching, you can use fingers and numerous sex toys, starting with small butt plugs and anal beads to large dildos. The stretching should be done gradually and with the consent of the receiving partner.

Since the anus is flexible and tends to return to its primary form, some stretching won't open the anal gape. Gaping occurs only after extended anal play when the muscles are fully relaxed and open. It’s appealing for several reasons and can make sex more manageable and comfortable for the recipient, reducing pain levels.

Purposeful anal stretching to create the anal gape is frequently used in BDSM to challenge power dynamics between the dominant and submissive partner.

Getting ready for anal play

Anal play is fun and undoubtedly pleasurable both for the giver and the receiver; however, it does require a little preparation. Anal stretching is part of the process, although it may be considered the most crucial step in the long run. Here are a few things to remember before engaging in anal sex.

Does it hurt?

To enjoy anal play, you need to get in the right mindset. If you're learning to stretch your anus and are a beginner at doing anal stuff, discomfort and minimal pain is common at the beginning. However, that doesn't mean you should sit still and do nothing if the pain gets excruciating or unbearable. The pain can be minimized if you gradually stretch your anus and don't rush the process. With proper training and tons of lube, you may reduce the pain to zero, and at best, you may feel slight discomfort when a toy or a penis enters your anus.

Being open about how the process feels and how much it hurts is essential, as letting your partner force themselves into you might bring on a lot of bleeding and bad injuries.

How deep can you go?

The depth of the anal canal and rectum differs for each person; how deep they can be penetrated depends on biological and circumstantial factors.

On average, the surgical anal canal is 1.5 inches long, and the rectum is 4.5 inches long, allowing bigger toys and deeper penetration. However, to feel comfortable being penetrated to that depth, anal stretching is necessary.

The anal canal and the rectum need to be accustomed to things of different sizes moving through them, and gradually going deeper into the anus is the only safe way to stretch yourself.

Would you get 'loose'?

This is a general question that concerns many people. The anus regularly stretches during bowel movements and returns to its primary position.

The same is true for purposeful anal stretching. The goal is to get the body used to have something in the anus for prolonged periods without feeling pain. After the anal play, even if you reach the point of anal gaping, the anus will return to its usual size shortly.

Although the anus itself won't get loose, your sphincter muscle might. This is the muscle at the end of your anus which keeps the feces in and dictates when you're defecating. Its loosening can happen only after a prolonged time of practicing anal sex. However, for those who are unwilling to give up this pleasure, there are Kegel exercises specifically designed to train the sphincter muscle and ensure its elasticity, preventing it from getting loose.

Is it permanent

If you practice safe anal play, the stretching effects are never permanent. The anus will go to its regular form shortly after you stretch it. To avoid damaging your sphincter muscle or causing any other injury, you need to get your anus relaxed. Ultimately, anal stretching will never affect the form of your anus; it simply makes your muscles more flexible and accustomed to being penetrated with different-sized objects.

Anal douching

No one wants to think about poop during erotic play, which is why it's essential to keep the hygiene around your anus to a maximum level.

While not everyone does it, anal douching is an excellent way to ensure your anus is clean and ready to be played with. Anal douching involves squirting water into your anus and letting it void to ensure no extra waste in the rectum.

Douching may not be necessary if you're using toys only; however, you might want to try it if you plan on getting penetrated. After all, the anus is full of bacteria, and not cleaning it as much as possible beforehand may result in unnecessary infections spreading onto your or your partner's genitalia.

How to stretch your anus?

Stretching your anus, whether for the fun and pleasure of doing it or as preparation for getting penetrated, is a delicate matter. Apart from managing hygiene, you must use the proper devices and methods to ensure maximum comfort. Below we'll give tips on safely stretching your anus for anal play.

The smaller, the better

Whatever the goal, anal stretching should be done slowly and gradually.' It's a journey that you should take one size at a time, and the easiest way to do so is to try an anal stretching kit.

These kits usually involve butt plugs and dildos of different sizes; some even have instructions and time frame manuals on how to be used most effectively. If you prefer to do your own shopping, purchase the most miniature plug for starters.

Even if you feel it's something you can easily take in, the sensation of having something enter your anus instead of exiting it requires time to get used to. Moreover, it's better to start with something that seems manageable and easy to get in than risk forcing a bigger-sized toy into your anus and injuring yourself.

Take your time

Every anus is different, which means each person will take different lengths of time to stretch it. Reading up and informing yourself about how long it took other people may give you a general idea, but the key is to listen to your body. Take it slow, and don't rush the process.

You use a single toy for as long as you like until you feel comfortable moving on to a bigger size. If you're using an anal stretching kit, you'll know beforehand which size comes next and can evaluate whether you're ready to move on from what you're wearing.

Practice makes perfect

The longer and more often you engage in anal stretching, the better result you'll have. Although the process shouldn't be rushed, finding a suitable toy to play with daily is best if you're committed to making your anus flexible.

If you decide to use butt plugs, there's no limit to how much time you can wear them. A few minutes a day is fine, but it's okay if you deceit wear it for prolonged periods. Additionally, moving with the toy inside you will increase your sexual drive and make you feel even more motivated to engage in anal play.

You can make your partner part of the process to keep it fun. They can help you insert the toys as a form of foreplay and proceed to please you in other ways while you're wearing the plug.

Our top picks for anal stretchers

Which toys can you use to stretch?

You have many sex toys for sexual play, including anal. Many sex toys can be used for anal stretching; however, we'll be discussing the two primary choices that are safest and easiest to use.

Butt plugs

The number one on our list is the infamous butt plug. Although this sounds simple enough, you should consider the variety of butt plugs before buying one.

The main difference is in size and materials. Usual anal stretching kits include butt plugs of different sizes made from non-porous and body-safe materials. They are often metal or silicone; however, you can also give glass butt plugs a try.

If you want to save time, you can also opt for inflatable butt plugs. It is essentially a small plug that, instead of taking it out and switching it for a bigger one, you inflate it to a size you feel comfortable with.

Since there's much variety, butt plugs are the most efficient to use and purchase. Additionally, you'll benefit from wearing it safely throughout the day and commencing your anal training while doing work or chores.


Like butt plugs, dildos can effectively help you stretch your anus with minimal effort. Since they can't be left in your body for hours, you'll need to set aside some time each day to engage in anal stretching.

Dildos are more fun when used with a partner since they can penetrate you while you dictate their movements and voice your pleasure.

Although not the best for beginners, they are a good option for those whose goal is to be penetrated. They come in different sizes, materials, and shapes, so make sure to start with a smaller and smoother dildo.

Other things to consider

Size is important; however, there are other factors to consider when purchasing your sex toys. After all, you insert them into your body, so they should be safe and comfortable for use.


You might want to consider their weight if you opt for wearable sex toys such as butt plugs. Heavier toys may increase the pressure and stimulate your anus better. However, for beginners, heavy toys are often uncomfortable and make you feel like the toy will slip out at any moment. For that purpose, it's better to use silicone toys which are lighter and easier to slip in, rather than toys from stainless steel.


Anal training sex toys come in all kinds of shapes. They can resemble a real-life penis or have irregular forms designed to reach the right spot. However, as a newbie to anal stretching, you'll need something small with a smooth surface and straight form. Still, even if you opt for another shape, ensure the toy has a flared base.


As we mentioned, it's best to use toys from non-porous materials that aren't easily affected by extended use. You could choose glass or metal toys if you like the aesthetics. However, silicone toys are best for beginners. They're softer, more flexible, and extra durable if you take proper care of them.

Best positions

Finding the best position for anal stretching depends on your comfort level and whether or not a partner is involved.

If you're doing the stretching on your own, the best action is to lie down on your side, clench the knees to your head and use your hand to insert the toy. As an alternative, many people use the squatting position. This stretches your anus wider and allows for easier insertion.

Those who practice anal stretching with their partner have many more positioning options.

You can lie down on your stomach while your partner sits on or beside you. You can also try doggy style, get on all four, or bend over something and fully expose your anus to your partner. Additionally, you can try laying on your back and getting your feet up, but this works better when you're being penetrated rather than just stretched with a toy.

Whatever position you choose, it's essential to trust your partner and be vocal about how you're feeling.

Cleaning Your Toys

It is vital to stay safe from injuries, but the same goes for infections. Since the anus is the final part of our biological waste system, bacteria and germs pass through it. Getting yourself clean before anal stretching is just one side of the coin, as your toys should be clean too.

Maintaining your toys' hygiene depends on their material and whether they contain any battery mechanisms. Toys made from porous materials, such as PVC or TPE, are harder to upkeep as they harbor bacteria easily, even after being cleaned.

On the other hand, non-porous toys are a lot more low-maintenance. Stainless steel, glass, or silicone toys can be easily rinsed with warm water, soap, and a towel. You can also put them in the dishwasher, boil them for disinfection or use sex toy cleaning solutions to ensure maximum hygiene.

Adding condoms even while using them is a great way to ease the cleaning process and quickly remove excess waste from the toy. After washing them, you can leave them to air dry and safely store them in a bag to ensure they stay clean until their subsequent use.

Most people clean their toys only after using them. However, if you want to be extra safe, wash them beforehand.

Final thoughts

No matter how taboo, anal play is not something you want to miss out on. Our anus is one of the many erogenous zones on the body with thousands of nerve ends that are almost certain to give you pleasure if you decide to stimulate them.

In terms of how much you want to stretch your anus and whether you like to experience anal gaping, there are a lot of devices and sex toys you could use. Both butt plugs and dildos come in different shapes, materials, colors, and sizes, so finding one you like won't be too hard. Those feeling adventurous can also experiment with vibrating anal toys for more powerful sensations and more pleasurable training.

If you enjoy trying to fit new and bigger things into your anus or want to take your boyfriend's penis anally without feeling pain, anal stretching can be as pleasurable for you as for your partner.

Get in the right mindset, start small, stay consistent, and your booty will get flexible in no time!

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