You wouldn’t attempt to do the splits without practice, would you? You would probably need a lot of stretching and training before finally getting there. Turns out, it’s the same thing when it comes to stretching your anus!
Anal gaping is an act that’s a few steps further than anal stretching – in fact, it’s probably the most extreme form of anal play. When your anus is gaped, your internal rectum muscles are exposed, and it can take hours for your anus to recover.
What Is Anal Gaping?
A gape is an opening in the anus caused by stretching for an extended period of time. This could be done through anal sex, but it’s usually done with larger toys. Inserting the penis or toy in the anus for longer gives your muscles the time they need to adjust so that upon removing the toy from your anus, you’ll find that your anus is gaping. But don’t worry – it’ll usually go back to normal after a little bit.
Anal gaping is a unique form of play that might be appealing for some, while being completely off the table for others. A good way to dip your toes into the world of anal gaping would be to get comfortable with anal stretching first.
Anal stretching is the build-up to gaping – it’s the act of gradually stretching your anus, allowing you to insert toys, or a penis, that you couldn’t insert before. If you’ve never inserted anything into your anus before, working up from one finger to multiple fingers is a beginner form of stretching. However, in the world of fetishism, anal gaping starts by stretching your anus above and beyond what is needed to insert an average penis for anal intercourse, and for a long time.
Usually with stretching, you’re training to take on toys as large as 2.5 inches in diameter, but it can be more or less than this, depending on the person.
Why People Gape
There are plenty of reasons why people get into anal gaping. For some, the appeal comes from the body modification aspect of it. As you stretch your anus more and more, the ring of your anus will begin to look different. It can also be incredibly arousing to see how deep and wide your partner has taken you. Plenty of people like the power play dynamic of gaping, since long periods of anal sex can be viewed as quite dominating and carnal. It’s especially great for those who feel less endowed, as they can physically see how much space they occupied in their partner’s anus.
Another reason people are into gaping is the fact that it’s the furthest point you can take your anal sex. Some manufacturers come up with wild, unrealistically-sized dildos, and some like the kinky idea of them. Anal gaping gives you the ability to indulge in your deepest anal fantasies with large anal toys, stretching you to your safest wide point and reaching the highest feeling of fullness.
The last reason for practicing gaping is for pure pleasure, of course. Your anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, which is why safe and steady anal play can feel fantastic. As your body stretches out to larger than what is naturally comfortable, the feeling can be incredibly intense.
Does It Hurt?
It shouldn’t hurt if it’s done right – the most important thing to remember is that the anus isn’t self-lubricating like a vagina, so you need to make sure you have tons of lubricant on hand. The second most important thing is to ease into it slowly and consistently over time. Since gaping is an incredibly intense form of anal, you need to train your anus little by little before attempting to gape.
You should also refrain from using any ‘anal ease’ cream or numbing cream of any kind. Other than the fact that it causes you to miss out on the pleasure, you could also be missing out on any potential warning signs. If things are painful to the point of needing numbing cream, you’re pushing your body past its limits and should dial it back. Anal gaping shouldn’t be painful, so if it is, make sure to stop!
Like plenty of other kinks, or things that take your body to new levels, there is the risk of going too far on your road to anal gaping. Since the tissue on the inside of your anus is thinner and more sensitive than the rest of your skin, there is a danger of microtears, which is the tearing up of the tender area around your anus. This opens the risk of infection, especially since there are tons of bacteria in the anus, as well as the risk of STIs, so make sure you’re being safe, clean and careful.
Another risk is the formation of hemorrhoids, which science indicates isn’t caused by anal sex itself, but by stretching the anal muscle beyond its limitations. That’s why it’s important to work your way into gaping in a patient, safe manner. To avoid going into dangerous territory, you need to be aware of the sensation as you insert anything into your anus. Be aware of sharp pains, or long-lasting soreness. It’s normal to experience some residual soreness for a day or two, especially after something as intense as anal gaping. However, if your soreness lasts longer than that, you’ve probably gone too far, and should take a break for a few days.
Is Gaping Permanent?
No! It should only last a few hours at most.
With regards to stretching, just like most other parts of the body, it usually has a setting point which it will gradually inch back towards. So, if you’re not regularly stretching your anus, it’s possible to lose some stretch and have to work your way back into the ability to gape. This timeframe of loss in stretch can start in as little as a week, but typically takes two or three. In short, you don’t have to worry about being stretched out for life – your body’s musculature will tighten up again with time, especially if you’re regular with your Kegel exercises. Gaping isn’t giving you a bigger butthole; it’s giving you more control of the muscles of your butthole.
How to Safely Stretch Your Asshole
Anal gaping is one of the most extreme forms of anal play out there, so before attempting, you should experiment with tons of other anal play first. You should be comfortably aware of the sensations of anal toys and what feels comfortable inside your body. When you’re training, be aware of how your anus feels – if you feel no resistance or discomfort in insertion or play, you may be ready to size up!
There’s no point in beating around the bush – anal play can bring on your urge to poop. If you want to prevent any potential mishaps, consider using an anal douche to cleanse your behind of any fecal matter. They look a bit like a dropper, and you just fill them up with warm water and sit over the toilet, while squeezing the water from the bulb into your anal tract. You can do this 3-4 hours before playtime.
If you want to be even more immaculate or plan to go deeper than 3 or 4 inches, you should consider getting an enema to flush the rest of the matter out of your rectum. But keep in mind that you shouldn’t perform enema’s too regularly, as they can throw off your electrolyte balance, and cause dehydration and nausea.
If you’re doing this alone, the easiest way to engage in anal gaping is to start by lying on your side with your knees bent so that you’re comfortable. Then, reach around to your anus to insert your finger or toy. If you’re doing it with a partner, you can either lie face down and have your partner sit or kneel next to you, or get on all fours and have your partner kneel behind you.
You should ensure that your mind and muscles are as relaxed as can be. Have your partner give you a massage, share a hot bath, or engage in some fun foreplay to get in the mood. Next, a key element of your gaping session is going to be lube, and be generous with it. Do not even attempt stretching, let alone gaping without some lube on hand! Silicone-based lubes are great because of their thick consistency and durability, but if you’re using a silicone toy, make sure you use a water-based lube since silicone breaks down silicone.
Once you’re relaxed, aroused and lathered in lube, work your way up from smaller objects to larger ones slowly and gradually. It may take a couple of weeks to size up, depending on how frequently you’re training. Either way, listen to your body. Once inside, use a gentle circular or thrusting motion with the toy or penis to help open the sphincters, reapplying lube if you need to take it out for any reason. Motions such as these help to mimic the feeling of your bowels being full, thus tricking the sphincters into opening up and producing a gape.
After a good gaping session, wait 2-3 days before doing it again, to allow your anus an appropriate amount of time to recover – remember, gaping is a very intense sexual activity and you’ll want to make sure that you’re being safe.
Best Toys for Anal Gaping
The thing with toys and anal gaping is that it takes plenty of different toys to get to where you want to be. Since you’re often starting from a less stretched out place, most people need to keep sizing up with toys until you can safely gape. A toy that’s perfect to train with is a butt plug! Their narrow tips which gradually grow are ideal for giving you the comfort and safety of penetrating yourself. You should proceed slowly at first, while eventually working up to the larger point of the toy. Their typically bulb-like shape keeps them snugly secured during all sensual play, and they come in all different sizes, so you can work your way up in magnitude.
If you’re on a limited budget or simply don’t want to carry a lot of toys, there are also some toys that can be used for the entire process. These will usually have a finer tip, growing into a large base, which will be quite a few times the size of the tip. Look for something with a tapered, cone-like design and a flared base for a secure grip. Every session, you’ll aim to insert this toy in a bit deeper, but you must be very careful, since it’s easy to over-insert. For that reason, you should only use this kind of toy for anal gaping if you’re in a calm and relaxed environment, with very little movement.
Alternatively, if you want to keep it at one toy, you can also opt for an inflatable butt plug to give you more flexibility with your stretch.
The most important thing to remember when choosing toys for any sort of anal play is that they should have a flared base, to ensure there’s no too-deep slippage. Next, you’ll have to figure out what size you’re able to take. To do that, measure the width of the current dildo you use comfortably for anal sex. If you don’t have one, then simply measure the width of your comfortable finger limit. Once you have that number, you should aim for a toy that’s one-quarter to a half-inch larger than your current comfortable size.
You can use most kinds of anal toys to work your way into gaping, including dildos or butt plugs, but make sure to always look for a toy that has a tapered tip.
Importantly, try and choose a toy that’s phthalate-free, BPA-free and made of silicone. Silicone butt toys are best designed for stretching, and are nonporous and easy to care for.
How Far Can You Go?
There isn’t an exact number for this – the best thing you can do is to listen to your body. The average rectum is about 5 inches long, but many can take much more than that.
Whether this sounded pleasant to you or utterly terrifying, it’s important to know how to engage in safe anal play, in case you and your partner naturally edge towards gaping territory, or plan to. If you’re ready to take your anal play to the next level, make gaping your next sexual milestone!