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You’ve probably heard about prostate stimulation by now – some consider it the male version of a woman’s G-spot, and when stimulated, it can lead to incredible pleasure. The prostate, or P-spot as some call it, is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid found in ejaculation. In short, it helps propel semen from the penis, but that’s not all it does.

The prostate is surrounded by nerve endings that can feel so good when touched the right way. Unfortunately, prostates are exclusive to those born with male genitalia. So, whether you’re thinking of giving one of these mind-blowing orgasms to yourself or to someone else, read on!

Some people are not comfortable with inserting things into their anus, whether it be for religious reasons, gay stereotypes or mere discomfort, and there is absolutely no problem with that. Luckily, there’s still another way to get a prostate massage without putting anything inside you, and it’s called an external prostate massage! Are you intrigued? If this sounds like something you or your partner would enjoy, we’re here to break down all the nitty gritty details of everything you need to know about external prostate massages.

men erogenous points

Can you Reach Orgasm from External Prostate Massage?

The short answer: yes! It may take some practice and trial-and-error, but once you’ve had one prostate orgasm, it can open up a whole new world of sexual pleasure.

Finding the Right Spot

An important reminder before you start is that a prostate massage is not a ‘quickie’. For your first massage especially, you should schedule a good amount of time –at least an hour– so that you are not rushing to find the right spot. Patience is key when it comes to the P-spot!

The prostate itself is located about two inches inside the rectum, between the rectum and the penis. However, with an external prostate massage, you’re going to be massaging the perineum, which is the area of skin between a man’s scrotum and his anus.

finding the prostate

Arousal swells up the prostate, so the more turned on he is before you start poking around, the easier it will be to feel. The perineum is firmer near the front of the penile bulb, which is the inner ending of the shaft. It feels softer and fleshier towards the back – this is the golden spot, the one you should be aiming for.

The key to a great external prostate massage is finding the perineum, since if you don’t, it essentially does nothing for the receiver. So, if you’re struggling, be patient and just try and poke around from different angles.

If you have an erection, you can try placing your fingers on one side of the shaft, under the scrotum. You may feel a lump inside which you might think is the internal shaft of your penis, but think again! When you rub it, it’ll feel different from the usual penis stimulation. Even if you do not feel the gland yourself, touching it will likely cause the sensation of needing to pee. This is a sign you’re in the right spot – trust us!

In case you’re worried that you may actually urinate, remember that the prostate is responsible for the flow of urine and ejaculation in the body, and so both cannot happen simultaneously. So, even if you feel the sense of needing to urinate, keep going with the massage.

What Does It Feel Like

Prostate orgasms feel like regular orgasms, except they’re more intense and are felt through the entire body. Some have reported having ‘super orgasms’, where they had a series of fast, continuous orgasms that cause the body to shudder. While internal prostate massages are usually a bit more intense than external ones, the latter can still feel fantastic.

Not everyone ejaculates during a prostate orgasm, but it’s not uncommon for a dribble of milky fluid from the urethra.

What is ‘Milking’?

As you rub the perineum, it’s not uncommon for some leakage to happen, which is completely normal. This would be whitish in color, and runny – the best way to put it would be something like ‘thin ejaculation’. The more you rub the P-spot, the more your prostate ejaculates this fluid which gives the urinating sensation, but is, in reality, good for your health! These liquids, if not released by your prostate, can lead to bacteria growth or prostate illnesses, which is why many doctors say that prostate massages are good for keeping a healthy prostate.

So, if you want to be prepared, have some towels or tissues handy for easier clean-up.

what is prostate milking

How to Give the Best Prostate Massage

Once you’ve decided on giving or receiving an external prostate massage, you can do so with or without the use of a prostate toy. For the sake of this blog post, we’re going to do so with only the use of our hands, since you don’t require a fancy toy to experience the most earth-shattering P-spot orgasm. Here is a step by step process to give the best prostate massage:

Step #1: Create a soothing environment

One of the most important parts of the massage, especially if it’s your first time, is to be in a comfortable, relaxing environment. If you’re nervous, your muscles will tense up and it’ll be more difficult to get aroused, and therefore in turn be more difficult to experience an effective massage.

Step #2: Apply some form of lubricant

Water-based lubricants are always a good idea, but since nothing is going inside you, you can also use Vaseline or a body cream and massage it onto the area, to avoid any rubbing and to help your hands to glide easier.

Step #3: Assume a comfortable position

Trying different positions can be fun once you get more comfortable with an external prostate massage! These can work whether you’re doing it to yourself or with a partner, and can also work for internal prostate massages.

Legs up

To do this by yourself:

  1. Lie on your back.
  2. Pull your knees up towards your chest as close as you can comfortably.
  3. Use one arm to hold your legs in place.
  4. Use your other hand to reach your perineum.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Lie on your back.
  2. Pull your knees up towards your chest, holding them in place with both hands.
  3. Have them kneel in front of you and massage your prostate externally.

On your side, one leg to chest

To do this by yourself:

  1. Lie on your side.
  2. Bring your outer leg up towards your chest.
  3. Reach your hand around to your perineum.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Lie on your side.
  2. Bring your outer leg towards your chest.
  3. Have them sit behind you to reach your perineum.


To do this by yourself:

  1. Get down on all fours.
  2. Reach your arm between your legs or around your back to reach your perineum.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Get down on all fours.
  2. Have them kneel behind you to reach your perineum.

Step #4: Grip the testicles

To avoid having your testicles get in the way during the massage, you can grip them to keep them in one place.

Step #5: Find the spot and apply gentle pressure

Apply gentle pressure onto your perineum, and use slow movements. You can experiment with patterns – some like circular motions, while others like gentle stroking, or something with a little more pressure and tension. Keep repeating this process for 2-3 sessions, or until orgasm.

You don’t need to get creative here! All you need to do is continue to rub, but keep in mind to not get too rough. Since the prostate is a sensitive gland, you can cause some serious damage if you are not careful. If the receiver complains about it feeling irritating or painful, you should stop right away and allow the area to recover.

p-spot massage

Tips for the Receivers

Use the bathroom before getting started, because even though you won’t pee, you will feel the sensation of needing to. Worrying about potentially peeing yourself might prevent you from relaxing and enjoying yourself, so it’s important to rid yourself of that stress as much as you can.

You can prepare for an external prostate massage by getting used to the feeling of your prostate being touched. You can practice with your fingers, or if you want to touch it internally, you can use an anal sex toy, like butt plugs or anal beads. You can also find our reviews of the top 10 prostate massagers here.

Mood Naughty Anal Butt Plug

Get in the mood so that you’re turned on – which will help the giver find the prostate easier – and makes the recipient more relaxed. Light some candles, watch some porn, masturbate or get a lap dance – whatever foreplay you need to get there.

Finally, make sure you’ve got lube on hand and use it. A water-based lubricant makes for easier gliding.

If you want to make things easier for your partner who is giving the external prostate massage, work on finding the perineum on your own! In the shower, try picking up your penis and using your index and middle finger to apply pressure, lifting slightly until you hit your perineum. Continue to apply pressure as you get closer to your anus. Keep in mind that squatting may help you reach your spot easier! You can push your pelvic and rectum muscles in and out as you apply pressure to better position your prostate to the inner walls of your perineum. With time, you should feel light contractions of your testicles, which means you’ve found the right spot.

How Can I Take it to the Next Level?

If you want to take your external prostate massage to the next level, there are plenty of things you can do. Instead of only using your fingers to perform the massage, you can take your fingers, curl them up, and use your knuckles to press inward at an upward angle, like you’re trying to reach between the rectum and bladder from the outside, and continue your massage. Meanwhile, you can stroke the penis, fondle the balls, or run a lubricated finger around the outside of the butt hole.

You can also experiment with different rhythms and patterns with your hands, or even bring in a vibrating toy to do the massaging for you. For broader stimulations that will stimulate your balls and booty hole at the same time as your perineum, a wand vibrator can work wonders. If it’s your first time experiencing an external prostate massage, you may also need some hand job action to push you over the edge, so don’t be afraid to try different things – every person is different, and our bodies need different types of stimulation to get there. Different strokes for different folks!

Lelo Magic Wand Massager

The best part of P-spot play is that once you get to an orgasm…you can start all over again. It’s different from a penile orgasm in that way.

Are There Health Benefits?

Prostate stimulation has some proven health benefits. For example, it may help improve urine flow! Prostate swelling in general can sometimes put pressure on the urethra and interfere with urine flow – massaging the prostate helps to relieve some of the pressure and allow smoother urine flow, and even reduce frequent urination.

Fluid blockages in the reproductive system can be painful, especially during ejaculation. A P-spot massage can sometimes help to eliminate these blockages, as well as to help with prostatitis, which is a painful inflammation of the prostate.

Final Words

Prostate stimulation and massages are losing their negative stigma surrounding them, and if you can become comfortable with the idea of this, you’re in for a world of surprise pleasure. An external prostate massage is the perfect substitute or introduction to anal play – so if you’re willing to explore your lesser-known erogenous zones, a variety of sensation may be your reward.

Whether you’re using the external prostate massage as foreplay, an introduction to anal play or the main course, as long as you’re safe, clean and consensual, you’re golden – so give it a shot!

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