Open Relationship

by Kate Miller on Jul 06 2026

What if love and commitment didn't have to mean exclusivity?

Open Relationship: An open relationship is a consensual arrangement where partners agree that one or both of them can pursue romantic or sexual connections with other people.

Also known as: ethical non-monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, CNM.

An open relationship starts with a clear, honest conversation between everyone involved. Both partners agree on what is and isn't okay, and those boundaries can look very different from couple to couple. Some people are open to casual connections only, while others are comfortable with their partner forming deeper romantic bonds. The key is that everyone knows what they are agreeing to before anything happens.

Communication doesn't stop after that first conversation. Most couples in open relationships check in regularly to see how everyone is feeling and to adjust their agreements as needed. If you feel a bit nervous about bringing up a concern, that is completely normal and worth doing anyway. Jealousy and uncertainty can come up, and talking through those feelings openly is what keeps things healthy. Going at your own pace and revisiting your boundaries often makes a big difference.

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Key things to know

  • Consent and communication are the foundation of any open relationship, which means everyone involved knows and agrees to the arrangement from the start.
  • Boundaries are set by the people in the relationship, not by any outside rulebook, so you get to define what works for your situation.
  • Regular check ins help partners stay connected and adjust agreements over time, which protects everyone's emotional wellbeing.
  • Open relationships exist on a wide spectrum, from purely physical connections to deeper romantic bonds, so there is no single right way to do it.
  • Practicing safer sex with all partners, including regular testing and honest conversations about protection, keeps everyone physically safe.

FAQ

How is an open relationship different from cheating?

The biggest difference is consent. In an open relationship, all partners know about and agree to outside connections. Cheating involves deception, while an open relationship is built on honesty and clear agreements. That transparency is what makes it ethical.

Where do we even start if we want to try this?

Start with a long, honest conversation before anything else happens. Talk about what each of you is comfortable with, what your limits are, and how you will handle situations that feel difficult. Many couples also find it helpful to read books or see a therapist who is familiar with non-monogamy to get some extra support.

Is jealousy normal in an open relationship?

Yes, feeling jealous at some point is very common and does not mean the arrangement is failing. Most people in open relationships treat jealousy as a signal worth exploring rather than something to push away. Talking about it with your partner, and sometimes with a counsellor, helps you work through it in a healthy way.

Can couples toys help us stay connected while exploring an open relationship?

Couples toys can be a lovely way to keep intimacy and playfulness at the centre of your relationship. Sharing new experiences together, like trying a couples vibrator or a remote control toy, can strengthen your bond and remind you both why you chose each other. Think of it as one fun way to invest in your connection.

Do we need to tell other people in our lives about it?

That is entirely up to you. Some people are open about their relationship structure with friends and family, while others keep it private. There is no rule that says you have to disclose anything to anyone outside your relationship. What matters most is honesty between the people directly involved.